hindsight 

my roommate has a hard time understanding why I crave you still 

she used to call the cops and hang up after the first dial

it took you that long to take her seriously

but she didn’t want to be serious 

serious is scary

you scared me, you scared her 

you scared me back into the shell of the person you once pried me out of 

only to watch how far you could kick me back in 

but I crave your foot on my jaw 

your knuckles wrapped around my wrists

dropping me onto the cold tile floor before flinging yourself rid of me, the parasite leeching off love   

but I crave you because you know my secrets

they were so painful to tell that I don’t think I can ever tell another soul again 

it took too much out of us when I burdened you with the weight of my insanity 

but I can’t carry it without you 

please

I thought I could

but I’m so much weaker than I ever knew

I never knew I would crave your abuse over mine 

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alex

chicago columbia college journalism + graphic design + art history lover of literature, strawberries and dirty boots

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